This is a different kind of post. Two of the most successful co-parents I know have agreed to come up with a few tips to share with you. Just who are these wonderful people who are so generously offering their advice? My husband and my best friend (and office manager). Six years ago, BEFORE I knew either of them, they had a wonderful jewel named Carter. Without too much backstory, it’s safe to say that they have worked their way through tough times and disagreements to become the best example of co-parents I could imagine.
Now they are offering some of their hard earned advice for you so that you don’t have to learn it the hard way. Seems like common sense, but believe me, most people don’t do these things.
Here are 2 lessons from April:
1) Your child learns about love and relationships directly from the actions of his/her parents. A tumultuous or contentious relationship with the other parent is selfish and will fracture your children’s ability to have good relationships in the future.
2) It’s not about you, and it’s not about the other parent. Everything is about your child and their best interest. No matter what happened in your relationship with each other, you have a responsibility to make sure your child knows that you love them so much that you would not ever attempt to compromise their relationship with the other parent.
Here are 2 lessons from Bill:
1) It isn’t worth it to be petty about things. For instance, if the other parent requests a change in the normal parenting time schedule, and it doesn’t cause you much trouble, agree to it. Don’t be overly stingy with “your time” as long as you are getting equal time. There is an art of compromise that will make things so much easier.
2) Insist that respect for the other parent always be demonstrated around your child. Even if it’s your new spouse who loses their cool and says something negative about the other parent, correct them ( no, not this new spouse- I would never make that mistake🤨) Always insist that the utmost respect is shown in front of your child when it comes to the other parent, even if you don’t respect certain decisions that they make. A healthy level of respect means everything.
Good luck Co-Parents! You can do this.
This is from Carter’s 5th birthday party. Bill is the bald one, April has the long blonde hair, and I’m obviously the one next to the bald guy in the sunglasses. My mom is the lady with the glasses, Sally.